Many people have been wondering and asking about my health, or lack thereof. For many years I tried to avoid having this knowledge made public, mostly because I did not want to worry my mother. Now that she is comfortably settled in her heavenly home I feel that it is best to make a public disclosure of the facts.

Somewhere between twenty and twenty-five years ago I contracted HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

In the early 1990’s when I found out that I had the virus, there were no effective treatments. Now there are many drugs that can suppress the virus, but back then this was not so. Some people who got it in those days would die in less than a year; others would rally for a few years, then sicken and die. So at the time it was essentially a death sentence. Fortunately for me I was able to stay relatively well for a few years and by the time I began to get really ill there were several different versions of what is euphemistically referred to as a cocktail, the popular term for various three-drug combinations. These drug therapies have saved and prolonged many lives. Unfortunately, they are also very toxic and the side effects are sometimes fatal.

I tolerated my first combination very well for several years. However, in 2002 after a year of severe abdominal pain, I landed in Good Samaritan Hospital vomiting blood and very near death. If not for the selfless and devoted care and advocacy of my wife, Anne, I surely would have died then and there, an ironic note - that little hospital stay coincided with our first wedding anniversary.

After that episode from which I never fully recovered, I stayed off of the meds as long as I could manage. For five years I held out, the last two of which I was pretty sick every day. In the year 2007 I began to take another slightly different drug combination. Although this lowered the viral count in my blood to an undetectable level, it never made me feel any better. By November of 2008 I was unable to hold down any food or water so I stopped taking the drugs.

This time the virus came back with a vengeance. Within weeks of stopping the ARV’s, anti-retrovirals, I came down with “full blown AIDS.” There are many different manifestations of AIDS, almost as many as there are people with AIDS (PWA’s). In my case I had constant nausea, intense acid reflux, severe pain in my bones and muscles and overwhelming fatigue. This began in November of 2008 and continued to worsen over the next few months. We were acutely aware that the Christmas of 2008 might be the last that I would celebrate.

It appeared that I was out of options as far as drug treatments were concerned. Virtually all of the ARV’s available were of the same type that I had been taking and to use any of those would have made me gravely ill again.

My doctor then suggested I take a special blood test to ascertain if I might be a candidate for a relatively new drug, Maraviroc. I became a subject in ongoing research by Pfizer, the pharmaceutical company that produces the drug. Pfizer paid for the expensive blood test, $1500, to determine my eligibility. My chances of qualifying hinged on the fact that there are two basic types of HIV, referred to as X4 and R5. These two strains of the virus use two different co-receptors (a molecule on the surface of white blood cells that the virus attaches itself to in order to enter the cell.) We drew a sample of my blood and sent it to the laboratory in California where they would perform the test. There are two possible results of this test, either positive, I could benefit from the drug or negative, I was out of luck.

We waited anxiously for two weeks for the verdict to come. When we asked my doctor, “M” or my research nurse, “T” what my chances were, they would only say, “You either have it (R5) or you don’t.” With that indication and the fact that there were two viruses, two possibilities, we figured that the odds must be about 50-50. We were wrong. Meanwhile, I was getting sicker by the day. On workdays I would throw up before I went to work, do a set, go to the bathroom, and throw up some more or when my stomach was empty I would just retch violently. On stage I would have chills, fever, dizziness, nausea and pain. I was virtually unable to eat or drink anything and I was fast approaching a time when I would be unable to function at all. The result of the test came at last and the outcome was positive! Our feelings of relief and gratitude were overwhelming. I had been handed another reprieve, another chance to live.

Two days later I began a new three-drug regimen consisting of Maraviroc (Selzentry), Isentress and Viramune. Within two weeks I was feeling much better, eating and drinking almost normally. Within six weeks I amazingly had an undetectable level of virus in my blood.

As I began to recover I started doing some research and found out some shocking facts about my situation. I learned that in almost all cases of HIV infection, a patient would have the R5 version of the virus only in the early stages of the disease. After a few years most people will have a combination of both types, R5 and X4, in the later stages only the X4 virus is present.

I began to realize that after having HIV for over 20 years and full-blown AIDS three times, the odds of a positive outcome in my case had been astoundingly meager. I checked with “M” and “T” and they confirmed it. They had known all along that my chances were vanishingly small. The blood test had been a complete shot in the dark.

After all I had been through, particularly this latest episode, I am profoundly grateful for every moment and every day that I live. Although I struggle daily with symptoms of AIDS and lingering side effects of the meds that include chronic pain, fatigue, bacterial infections, lipodystrophy, neuropathy, and other nuisances, I am very happy to be here. I am acutely aware that I could die from something as trivial as a cold, the flu or an infected cut and that at any given moment I am only a matter of weeks from extinction. I am not planning on dying anytime soon, I am just saying that if you would like to come see me, now would be a good time.

Some friends have expressed some concern about my coming forth with this disclosure and advised me against it. I realize that there is still a lot of fear, prejudice, and misunderstanding surrounding the matter of this disease and the people that have it. But the only way to change such things is for people like me to stand up and speak out, tell the truth. One thing I would like to remind people of is that you cannot acquire this disease from casual contact. That means that you cannot get the virus from looking at me, touching me, kissing me, sharing a smoke or a drink. The only way it can be communicated is by getting infected white blood cells into your blood stream. You cannot get it from sweat, tears, saliva, boogers, or ear wax.

Before I wrap this up, I would like to thank all of the people who have helped me to survive this long. Thanks to all of my doctors, nurses, and all of the medical professionals who have saved my life again and again. Thanks to all of my family and friends for their love and support. I especially send my most special, deep, and heartfelt gratitude to my wife, Anne DeBrie and my friend and bass player, Tony Conroy.

Love to you all ~ Dub

If you have any questions or comments, please send them to dub@debrie.com